Kids Say the Darnedest Things Part 2

Earlier this week in the post Kids Say the Darnedest Things, we talked about tips on responding to behaviors at home. We are going to continue that theme in this post.

Situation: You ask your child to do a task like putting toys away and you get “You are not the boss of me”.

Ways you could respond: Your child is testing boundaries. They are trying to show that they can be independent but they are expressing it in the wrong way. Validate their feelings by acknowledging that you understand they don’t want to comply with your request. Tell them why you need them to put their toys away. And remind them that you are the parent. Explain that actions have consequences and not completing the task will result in consequences.

Situation: It’s an hour before dinner and your little one wants a snack, you tell them no and they have a full blown tantrum.

Ways you could respond: It’s very difficult to find a teaching opportunity during a tantrum. In many cases ignoring a tantrum and not responding can be the most effective action. After the tantrum is done explain that tantrums are not appropriate. Explain the consequences of their actions and how others perceive them during a tantrum.

Situation: You overhear your child saying “I don’t like you” to another child.

Ways you could respond: Realize that your child doesn’t understand the impact of their words on others. In many cases there may be something else driving this behavior in your child. For example, they aren’t getting their way or they are feeling left out during play. Teach your child to use words to express their real feelings instead of acting out and being angry. Teach your child how to walk away and compose themselves. Let them know how they are making other children feel by using hurtful words. Keep the lines of communication between your child and you open.

In the end each child is different. The key is to keep working to find what works best for you and your child.