Preschoolers and anger

Go away, I don’t want to play with you anymore, you’re not my friend. These are some comments that are heard on playgrounds all over the country. Whether you hear your child saying these things or another child is saying this to your child, it’s concerning for parents to hear mean things being said. Does this type of activity indicate that your child is mean or, is it normal for a preschooler to express themselves this way?

Preschoolers often struggle with letting go of the self-centered world of being a toddler and moving into the empathy needed in a group or school setting. Newly developed language skills are letting them express themselves more than they ever have before but they still struggle with knowing how to act on their own behalf without being aggressive.

Here are a few tips on how to help your child make the transition to showing empathy instead of acting aggression.

Stress the proper words – if you hear unkind words being used at home point it out to your child. Tell them how they could communicate using kind words. Explain that they can better influence others by keeping cool and being nice to others.

Take a break – To help manage anger tell your child to take a break from playing with their friends if they start getting angry or using unkind words. Kids have a short memory and this might give them the time they need to cool off.

Some children respond more to praise than punishment. If your child is continually getting angry or saying mean things to others start praising and rewarding good behavior, maybe through a behavior tracking chart. Give them a sticker for good behavior each day.

In some instances the aggressive words and behavior could be an attempt from your child to get more attention. Set up some special time each day where you can review their behavior, talk about it and maybe do a fun activity.